Sustenance — My Father’s Legacy

Do You Have To Be So Hard? Loving Life As You Age.

My Dad was (as some of you already know) hard. Hard on himself and those around him. He only understood and expressed love through restraint, through hard work, through the pain of a difficult workout. And he made my life hell for about ten years until my Mum kicked him out. Good for her. Well, then came the lonely years but that’s a topic for another day.

Look, he had his good points. He knew how to live well. He made a lot of money. He and my Stepmum had a lovely life (even when he had trouble earning there for a while). I loved him.

He Deserved Respect

And in my thirties, I grudgingly respected my Dad for his restraint. I was old enough to understand what that meant and I could see what it cost him. Hats off, for sure. But as he got older, I realized that the payoff might not be what he expected because, you know, it rarely is.

And he didn’t let up. In fact, at one point, food was all he could talk about. He was constantly not eating things. Like no tomatoes. No potatoes. Or all potatoes and tomatoes. It was confusing. I gave up trying to make sense of it and just enjoyed the sound of him talking.

Right up until his intellect faded from dementia, he would go on and on about food. I remember leaving his place…